My Black Dog Living
My story on fighting my black dog daily and keeping on winning
About me
25 years of black dog living under my belt. I have seen every counsellor, psychiatrist and psychologist you can imagine.
In the end there are just a few important things that will get your from fighting to get to start the day, to fighting to stop reaching your goals and believing everything is possible.
1. Faith
2. Understand that the world will not change for you, you must adapt to the world
3. You are already enough
4. Find a friend who understands the journey, because if you have never dealt with the black dog, you just don’t get it.
5. You have the power to change your life. you just have to choose it
Category: Depression
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One thing about being a recovering (because when you have had as many relapses as I have, it will never be recovered) major depressive, is those nights when you can’t shut your mind off. Last night was one of those. Where I got to replay conversations from the past week over and over and relive…
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I did not see it coming. Cerberus broke through my defences. Twenty plus years of experience. Five plus years of getting it right, and he did it again without me realising it. I just woke up again one day and I feel completely empty inside. I am en empty vessel moving around and going through…
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I felt like I had it all under control until the pillars that keep my depression at bay started crumbling one by one over the past year. Now I know my triggers so I keep a strict eye on these pillars to make sure they remain intact and strong, but this time it was like…
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Dear readers, I have been missing for the last month. I apologise. I have been trapped within myself, staring into the abyss. I know you are fully aware of that feeling. That feeling when you have spent years building up the system you need to function spectacularly in a world that will understand everything else,…
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I always used to think that the worst thing about living with depression, was to be stuck in the continuous cycle. The one where the tunnel stays dark. Only sometimes a glimmer of sunlight fooling you into believing in redemption and freedom from purgatory. The morning fight with yourself to get out of bed and…
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“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a line sung by Kelly Clarkson. Now I always thought I understood this, due to almost not surviving an asthma attack in Grade 11. Were it not for the power of prayer I would not be here today. But I digress. Being a single 40-something career-focussed woman,…
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Since earlier this year I started experiencing burnout symptoms. Not being too familiar with this concept, I looked for a medical answer. Vitamin deficiencies and the like. My family is prone to anemia and I am prone to Vitamin D deficiency. Yes, I do like to keep my european descent skin out of the wonderful…
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So last week I had a vicious run in with Cerberus. I was completely exhausted and not in the best of places. But if I exclude being able to see my triggers popping up. The one thing that I have in bucket loads is grit. I sometimes believe that when the chips are down, all…
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In my last post I said that even when your depression is well controlled and you know your triggers, sometimes your black dog will make it through your defences. Well, this week Cerberus didn’t even sneak through. He attacked like a raging predator to sit squarely on my chest. The result? Old habits die hard…
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So some of you may have read my original introductory post, but due to being a blog newbie, there were some tech gremlins involved and I lost it. So I will try again. This blog is called my black dog living because the black dog is a common term for depression. Now I have been…